I can’t wait to be older, to be in love, married, and be a mom. I know that might be odd for me to say given the fact that I am 18 and I should be excited about college and experiencing things and making fun memories. But I don’t want any of that, I really don’t, it’s just not me. Maybe there is something wrong with me, but all of those things seem so meaningless without love. And I’m not talking about the love you have for God, your best friend, or your family (although I do need those and cherish them), but I am talking about deep and passionate love, not just the romantic kind either but the kind our parents feel for us. I want both of those, more than anything in the world. I want nothing more than a husband who loves me and our kids fully and deeply, and I know God had that planned for me. I don’t want to go to college looking for a guy though, I don’t want to force anything, I don’t want to fall for the first guy I see because I’m in love with the idea of being in love. But if I do that then I am scared I could miss out on the right person. Ugh, I really just need to stop thinking and let God handle things. I just have to wait and it is very agonizing.